Do you need to care for Your old Parents?

This is a question everyone must ask yourselves as you grow old. Can you set the care of yourselves before you get to that point when you need help? Or do you depend on family to carry your load? What kind of parent have you been that would make your children unselfish  for your care? The old adage you reap what you sow is so true. In my case, at a young age I was the unofficial care taker of my Grandmother. I was always around to help my Mom care for my grandmother. My sisters were home to help also but good old Grandma was in my room with my little brother. She was an abusive paraplegic who went out of her way to make my mother miserable in turn I felt the abuse. After a few years she would be put in an old age home as they were called in those days.

Have you taken the steps needed to care for yourself? Because of my early childhood I made sure no one would need to care for me. I bought an insurance policy for extended care. If I am disabled or , have cancer or God forbid, Alzheimers, I will have professionals take care of me. I do not want anyone to go through what I did as a young boy.

I made a promise to myself I would never put my wife through what my Mother had to go through. When my Father asked me  to move into my house I politely said no. He was in his late eighties and was living by himself being estranged from my Mother. I told him I would find him a place close to me and promised to be with him everyday. He refused to move under those conditions. He was a man who disowned his family until he needed help and wanted it his way. Sorry ,I was not willing to sacrifice my wife’s independence to him.

He would die a short time later, alone. Do I regret my decision? Part of me does but it was his choice. As an adult it is your responsibility to care for your future. Things happen beyond your control. Sometimes life throws you a curve and hopefully the seeds you sowed come back and gives you good Karma. I hope I have grown more unselfish in my old age that I would help my family as much as I could. Time will tell.

Have you taken the steps to take care of yourself in times of need?

Pura Vida!

old age


The Walker

She gets up early from her warm bed
Looking forward to her day ahead
She makes her bed one sheet at a time
Balanced against the bed she does just fine

Her walker close by so she can walk
Balanced precariously between the floor and the walls
At ninety years old her stability is gone
Her mind is sharp, her eyes are strong

She walks with a hunch but a strong steady stride
She loves her independence
Hates anyone’s dependence
Her children want her in a retirement home
They fear for her safety; she rather be alone

She lives in a small senior apartment
Tenants watched over by a managerial department
Maintenance person to help fix what is broken
A place were harsh words are never spoken

It has two rooms and a bath
The floor is cleared of obstacles in her path
The living room has a table and a television stand
A rocker just at the other end
From the bedroom it is to the right
A couch where she sometimes falls asleep late at night

In the middle is a table and chairs
Above a fan to stir the air
A small kitchen with the necessary appliances
The modern necessities she has become reliant

Her walker she positions between the kitchen table and living room
So she can navigate between the rooms
She balances off the table and the walls
Holding onto appliances so she won’t fall
When you visit she loves to entertain
You try to help she will give you a refrain
She wants to show her independence
She hates to feel dependent

We will walk to the neighbourhood store
Try to keep up is a real chore
She hangs her purse on her walker
Occasionally she stops and becomes a talker

The walker has a built-in chair
Perfect for chatter and enjoying the fresh air
Her walker is her lifeline
A way to beat the daily grind

An escape from her affliction
Giving her a way to live life with conviction



Author: tmnugent

Poet Author. Living in Costa rica Pura Vida. Love to travel, play with my dogs and write poetry. My girlfriend and I enjoy life and could't be happier living here

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