Loving yourself

I read a blog a few minutes ago, it was well done. Yet, I could not grasp what the writer was saying so I will put it in my own words. I have been lost for a long time. I have always had a low opinion of myself. No matter what I did I could not get the feeling of success. I always listened to Mom and Dad, brother and sisters to get a feeling about myself. My Mom was always critical of my successes. I was owner of six restaurants with three partners. Instead of, that’s great son, I received, “why don’t you  own your own restaurant?”

Eventually I did own my own restaurant, but it was, “why did you take so long?” I published a book when I retired and Mom said,

” It is about time you used your head?” “Hey Mom, I have published ten books. “What do you have to say about that?” Oops too late, Mom passed away a few years ago,but I hope she is proud of me in heaven.

Dad never gave me any applause. He was too busy taking care of the family, trying to succeed. Back when I was a young lad I was looking for encouragement that never came. I guess I still am, from friends and sisters, but it never arrives. I wrote all my negative successes on a piece of paper. Looked at them and said,” you can never hang on my shoulders anymore! Crumpled the paper into a little ball and threw it in the trash where it belongs. Abscent from my mind and body. I surround myself with like individuals who say ,” I am ok, I have nothing to prove to myself anymore.”

I opened myself to new enterprises and will forge my own success because I like myself and what I am doing. I never ask any body if they like my prose or if they bought my books. Not my sisters and not my friends, if they do not support my poetry it is not going to hurt My feelings.Should it bother me?

I feel to love myself without being narsisistic I need to listen to my inner me. Are you proud of what you do? Yes. Do you need someone else’s approval? No. If I am happy with myself, will I love myself? Yes.

How about you, have you looked in the mirror and say I like you Mister( or Miss)?

Forgiveness

Balloons

I went to memorial of my friend’s nephew,
Of a hundred people that the young man knew.
He died at thirty, way before his time.
They celebrated him with choruses and rhymes.

Father, daughter, aunts, uncle, and friends,
To him in heaven their love they would send.
Joys of laughter and fun they would tell
About the young man who would leave them for a spell.

Not too many tears were fallen this day.
Only happiness and good cheer; he would want it this way.
Grandma would tell a story about the balloons.
Every one brought one; they were floating in the room.

It was about a dad and his two boys who went to the zoo
To escape sadness that afternoon.
They had lost a brother two and half weeks old,
A hardship that was hard to hold.

Walking in the zoo, they came upon a balloon stand.
The boys pestered the father for a balloon for their hand.
Again and again, they pestered dear dad
Until he relinquished instead of thinking them bad.

He smiled and patted their heads and turned to pay.
The boys released the balloons upward to their heavenly way.
The father turned and saw the balloons head to the blue skies.
He was angry and wanted to know why

They released the balloons to the sky.
The boys calmly said it was for their brother,
Who would never have a father or a mother,
Who could never go to the zoo

And have father buy him a balloon.
But on this day, in their loving way,
They showed the balloons were the right price to pay
To show the brother that they lost

The love they give at any cost.
We released our balloons and sent them on their way.
Brother, nephew, cousin, friend—we love you!

Author: tmnugent

Poet Author. Living in Costa rica Pura Vida. Love to travel, play with my dogs and write poetry. My girlfriend and I enjoy life and could't be happier living here

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