What color am I

People United

I look at my old white body in the mirror and it looks distorted, off color. I read twitter and Facebook and feel the hate permeating on the pages. I felt this hate when I was a teen and remember the terrible clashes I was part of in the early sixties. Mexican, black. It did not matter. I was white and white was right.

My parents taught me how to be white. How to hate any color that was not white. They used the common language of the Irish Catholics in all white Chicago neighborhoods. All white Catholic grade schools through my all white high schools. My parents hated Jews, Muslims, Any color that They could not understand. They we’re homophobes and voiced it out loud in public, at home, anywhere anytime. Then they called themselves Christian soldiers.

How do you learn any differently? Mom and Dad are correct are they not? My first lesson came when I was fifteen years old. My Older brother met a beautiful Lebanese woman. She was kind, gentle and great for my brother. My Father asked my brother why he wants to marry a nigger. My brother’s face turned red with anger and he called my Dad a racist and stormed out with his girlfriend. He did marry his girlfriend.

I did not like my Dad that day. My life would change as I hid within myself. I went to a high school all star game that featured whites and blacks playing together. It was the east versus west game. At halftime my friends argue with a group of blacks and a fight breaks out into the streets. I rush down the field to help my friends as I catch up with a heavy black kid. “What the hell is going on?” I asked.

“You are white and a black brother confronted a white kid egging him on.”


“Because you are better than me.”


I was astounded that the Black kid said I was better than him. Three hundred years of silent oppression has been the core of our racial problems. I learned through college and military service that a man is a man; No matter what the color of our skin. It is the sin of society that racism is here today. Racism is in all factions of the humans life. Folks, we all bleed red.

Unfortunately we are being fed lies from our political parties. Blacks are now calling white Privilege out . Black life Matters is the new organization. The papers are eating it up, celebrities are jumping on the band wagon and it is a sad commentator on today’s society. Give me a break! Who is more privileged than a white actor claiming to support BLM? I earned my retirement by blood sweat and tears and I am not ashamed of my spot in life. How about the ministers Black and white who live in ten million dollar homes? Are they concidered privileged? Better than you and me as I rest in my duplex on the East side of Las Vegas?

I feel for the poor Black community that had their black businesses burnt to the ground. Are they considered BLM or are the rich going to help them rebuild instead of hiring lawyers to bail out criminals? Funny how prestige gives a person more moral high ground even though they marry two or three times and need to go to rehabs to regain their worthiness.

I am ashamed of my character as a youth and wish to help all people’s but I’m not going to fall into the socialistic garbage being pushed down our throats. I demand for respect for our flag and country and do not need celebrities telling me democracy is bad. We have our problems, but how about finding a positive solution to them? I am sad in today’s world of hate. I have no answer for our dilemma other than we must solve it together. We cannot separate our races into organizations because it will fail. Only when we decide to walk hand in hand and rebuild emotionally and physically will we succeed.

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds. Pura Vida.

Author: tmnugent

Poet Author. Living in Costa rica Pura Vida. Love to travel, play with my dogs and write poetry. My girlfriend and I enjoy life and could't be happier living here

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